Last night my friends and I visited our local cinema to watch the recently released romantic drama The Best of Me. As we made ourselves comfortable in our red suede chairs with popcorn and frozen cokes sitting securely in their holders, I noticed there were very few men filling the chairs. As the movie trailers began to play I couldn’t help but scan the rows looking for couples cuddling and enjoying an intimate evening out together. To my surprise there were only 2 couples, 2 guys and their respective partners in the entire cinema!
I fell into a short conversation with the group of 4 women who sat behind me about New York Times Best Selling Author Nicholas Sparks. All four women, who were in their late 30’s and avid fans of the American novelist, had been waiting several months for the release of Nicholas’ 9th film adaptation. When I made note of the lack of men in the cinema all four woman seemed just as surprised as I was, one of the women even made a comment regarding men just don’t appreciate romantic movies.
A short time later the lights dimmed, the movie credits began to roll and I soon forgot all about the ratio of men to women in the room. Now, its at this time that I want to mention Luke Bracey. If you have watched the 1987 hit film Dirty Dancing, then you would appreciate the moves made by Luke’s character Dawson Cole in The Best of Me. Watching Dawson remove his shirt and crawl across the hardwood floors to Amanda was reminiscent of Patrick and Jennifer in the dance classic. While ‘checking out’ Luke’s toned abs <aaaahhh> I had to laugh listening to the wolf whistles and giggles heard throughout the cinema…oh there’s another bad boy to keep an eye on <wink>.
As the storyline reached its conclusion and most of the room was looking for tissues in their purses and handbags, I was once again thinking about the movie patrons. Why would a man not want to attend a romantic movie and enjoy a wonderful evening with a loved one? Men love to feel just as connected as women do, yet as I looked around the room I got the feeling that the differences in men and women were greater than I thought.
So this morning I made myself a nice hot cup of coffee, moved to the comfort of my living room couch and got to thinking about men and women and our views of what is considered a romantic gesture. Both sexes express ourselves similarly when we want or need affection. We still tend to approach a cuddle in the same manner, even though most men tend to be more contentious. Women tend to be softer in their approach, except when we decide we really want something…and we want it now lol. When it comes to showing how much we care, our romantic gestures tend to steer into different directions. Women often wish to symbolise a gesture or event in our lives. Gifts tend to be chosen that represent feelings and levels of attachment whereas men tend to express their feelings in the form of an activity…..and not just in the bedroom <wink>
Men like to bond, its just a part of who they are. They like to meet their mates at the footy, catch up for a cold beer at their local hotel and think watching cricket on the television with a loved one is the perfect afternoon. To guys, bonding and expressing themselves or symbolising their relationships tend to revolve around an activity. If the guy in your life asks you to watch a football game with him, to him thats a significant gesture…and to him its also a romantic one. He wants to get to know you better, he wants to spend time with you and he wants you to see and take part in what interests him.
There are guys that will buy flowers and there are guys that will plan to meet at an intimate restaurant and when they make those gestures women tend to adore them more, how can we not! But if we encompass men in general, those men that buy the jewellery and lingerie tend to be few and far between. That doesn’t mean that men are romantically deficient, they just don’t tend to think the same way women do.
What do we know about men? They are visual creatures, they love food, they love affection – especially the playful kind. Men find it difficult to separate romance and sex, to them its one and the same as romance leads to sex. They also love it when their loved ones take an interest in their hobbies. It doesn’t mean you have to know everything about his favourite sports team, but if you ask some simple questions it will show you want to know more about him and thats more important than a bunch of flowers.
Men are romantic, they always have been, they just show how much they care in a different fashion to women. Yes there are guys that will ask you out to a restaurant and there are guys that will bring you fresh flowers. But generally they want to take you for a walk along the beach, invite you to the AFL Grand Final or invite you to a BBQ with their mates. That’s men, sometimes we want to beat them over the head (with the bunch of flowers) but they just want to get to know you in a way that bonds you both closer together. That’s just their way.
x x x