They’re dating?!? Whether they are celebrities or your closest friends, sometimes we are left shaking our heads at the most unlikely of relationships. She likes knitting and wearing Betty Boo, he likes kick boxing and is trying to find space on his torso for another tattoo of the devil but somehow these two most unlikely people have found love. Why is it that some of our friends, family and even those in the spotlight are attracted to what we would consider to be the most unlikely of choices?
In my experience, many people assume that people choose like minded people, such as the wealthy will only date other wealth people, attractive people will only date other attractive people, outgoing people will only date other outgoing people and so forth. Honestly, there are many things I have learned in life so far and one of them is how untrue that way of thinking is. Although it would seem logical to be attracted to someone who is more like yourself, in real life this simply is not the case.
What happens when you put two things that are similar together? They clash? Its like the science experiments we all learned when we went to school. Two positive fields will not bond, in fact they push against each other. Magnets – try to connect two north poles and two south poles together and they fight against each each. What happens when we turn them around and move the opposite poles close to each other? -They snap together like a perfect fit.
Attraction works in a similar fashion. Some of you may think its silly, but think about it. How many of your friends, or people you know that are complete opposites and are in a relationship together? The quiet guy next door might have a girlfriend that brings exorcism to mind, but maybe thats were the attraction is. She might like a more tame partner to balance her more zestful personality. Imagine having two feisty people in the same room….it could make for some magical bedroom moments but could you live with someone who is as high wired as you? Maybe he likes his partner who likes to take control.
Now talking about differences in personality is one thing, morals, self respect and pride is another aspect to your relationships you need to consider. Just because he likes every fold of skin on his body to be pierced and likes to bounce to M83 till 2am every night doesn’t necessarily mean he lives in an apartment that resembles a war zone. The appeal in your differences may wear off when you discover your partner has the attention span of a goldfish and thinks inserting every four letter word into every sentence that comes out of their mouth is ok.
If your differences consist of a party animal versus a homebody or a nigh owl versus an early riser then you will need to learn how to compromise. Talking about any kind of conflicts is a vital key to any relationship no matter how different you may be. Just because the girl you like has hot pink streaks in her hair to match her quick witted personality should not deter you from asking her out. He likes retro and feels wearing his hair slicked back like Elvis, she likes everything white and starts to sweat when a speck of dust lands on her coffee table. What happens when you just can’t compromise?
We all have quirky traits and bad habits, some more than others but when is your partners idiosyncrasies get too much is it time to bail? It comes down to what people are willing to change. If you are not willing to change then it is unreasonable to expect your partner to. A persons silly traits may be something they have been doing since they were young and it would be incredibly difficult to change. Different points of view can be a breath of fresh air to your relationship and may even introduce you to an entire new way of looking at things. But if the differences you have are more bothersome and not something that you could ignore then you may need to think twice at any commitment you may have.
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