Stalking Your Ex Lover Online

We have all done it at some point, your scrolling through your Facebook feed when you see a post from a life long friend. She has added new photos to her album, and now you are curious. You spend the next 10 minutes looking at photos from a time in your life you would rather forget. Old school photos, someones party, or just casual photos from your younger years. And there you are, with your arm around someone who made your life hell – great! But you keep on looking, searching for more photos…..why torture yourself? But you are hooked, and you want to know more!

When I was younger, and a hell of a lot sillier, I had some of the most idiotic boyfriends a person could wish for. Even now when I think back to my teens and early 20’s, I shake my head. What was I thinking? Actually, my parents used to ask me that all the time. What was I thinking…..who knows? I thought I was in love? Lust more like it. But I sure had a knack for dating those who needed major therapy, detox or being removed from the general population. But if they were lacking common sense back then, what would they be like now? And considering the mistakes I made, have they thought the same about me?

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Social Media may have made it easier to keep in contact with friends and family, it has also made finding past acquaintances a walk in the park. For everyone who has Facebook, all you need to do is type a person’s name into the search bar and you get a list of people’s profiles to search through. If your looking for a girl who may now be married, it could be more difficult. However, most of us have kept in contact with those we knew when we were younger. So what would be the possibility that someone you have known all your life is still friends with someone from your’s? Just because it didn’t work out between the two of you, doesn’t mean your ex isn’t still friends with your friends.

And that is how my recent dilemma began. One photo, one simple snap in time and everything came flooding back. The stupid things we did, how naive I was. I would love to go back in time and give my younger self a good slap. Snap out of it! Well, with age has come wisdom, and with that wisdom I Facebook stalked some of my ex’s to see if they are still alive and well. I think of it as a personal favour…a welfare check as such 😉

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Well, well….well. Life has not been kind to some of my ex’s. It is surreal, bizarre almost to see how they look now. To read what they are doing, who they married, where they work and even to see what their kids look like. To think I could have settled down with Mr ###, who is now missing teeth and renting an dilapidated old house out in the middle of whoop whoop. Or I could have had children to Mr ### who’s newborn has more hair. Mr ### looks like he never took my advice when I said drugs are addictive. But in all fairness, some of my ex’s are doing ok. One is performing in hotels and clubs across Victoria and NSW playing his guitar and singing his favourite songs from the 80’s. Another has his own business in far north Queensland, having followed through on the dreams he had when he was younger.

So after spending time on Social Media and Google, I am now feeling a tad sad. For those not doing well I can honestly say I am not surprised, after all, the writing was on the wall. But for them to not have broken the mould created by their own childhoods, it is very sad to see. I am now thinking it would have been better to not know. Is it a good idea to look in on an ex?  For me it has been many, many years since I last saw or had a conversation with any of my ex’s. But what about for those that have only recently broken up with someone they loved deeply? Would or have you Googled them? Have you searched on your Facebook for information on a past lover?

Considering how emotionally draining it has been, I can honestly say it is not worth it. If not for seeing the photo on a friends Facebook feed, I would never have followed this path. I admit there was something downright satisfying seeing that an ex who told me I would never get anywhere ended up working in a car yard. But after a few minutes, I felt nothing but sorry for him. In fact the more information I discovered, the more I realised I may have dodged some major drama. But enough was enough. I had a peek into their lives, now it’s time to re-close that door and appreciate my own life. In my case I can thankfully say that “Curiosity didn’t kill the cat”, but I sure learned a valuable lesson. No good comes from digging in the past.

x x x

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