Have you ever heard of the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? I have always said it myself, but never knew who came up with it until today. Where would we be without Google? 😉 The phrase was first published in Francis Davison’s book of poems titled Poetical Rhapsody in 1602. The words actually appear as the first phrase of a poem in the book. Unfortunately the author of this poem is anonymous and still remains unknown to this day. Despite this, the author must have known a thing or two about not just love, but the trials that come with loving someone from afar.
Thankfully it’s no longer the 1600’s and we don’t have all the same worries that the mysterious poet had above. Yes, we miss seeing our partners on a regular basis, but we no longer have to wait weeks or months for a letter to arrive via horseback. We can simply pick up our mobile phone and within seconds hear the voice of the one we miss so much. Skype, FaceTime….got good reception? Then why not talk face to face! Yes, we may pine for that one that isn’t by our side, but that doesn’t mean staying in contact with our partners has to be difficult. With just a few simple tweaks to your daily planning, you can keep in contact with your partner and elevate some of the stress that comes with being apart. Below are a few of the things I do with my partner when he travels interstate setting up the V8 Supercar races.
Contact Each Day
When my partner first started travelling around not just Australia, but also to New Zealand with the V8’s, I was a mess! I was working part time and he was working long hours. Both our girls were very young and to make matters worse I was suffering from Post Natal Depression (which we found out about a year later!) I just wasn’t coping, and to make matters worse my parents lived next door! But they also worked full time and well, I am sure you will understand when I say I was trying to be super mum. Everyone else can do it – why can’t I?!? So I battled on and after 2 weeks of no sleep, my nerves a mess, I fell to pieces. By the time my partner came home I needed a few days of rest. What did we learn? First of all, to ask my friends and family for help. Secondly, make meals in advance and third to keep in contact with my partner. Two phone calls each day. A quick one around lunch time, another early evening. Skype or FaceTime, it was great to see his face. Talk to him about my concerns, my day, the kids….whatever we wanted. It helped so much.
Book A Room
There have been times when the budget has been a tad tight, I am sure you can relate to what I am saying. No matter how well we save, life can sometime throw you a few more curve balls than you could ever have planned for. X-rays, root canals…..on their own it can be annoying…all at once can be frustrating! But when things are good, it’s great to plan something a little out of the ordinary. When we lived in country Victoria, the car drive to Albury Airport took about an hour. If my partner was flying in late I would ask a friend to mind the girls and I would book a room for the night. After picking him up at the airport, we would head into town for a nice intimate dinner. Just the two of us, no kids and a king size bed!
Surprise – Surprise
You have to have some fun, otherwise you will sit around worrying about them leaving. Plan a surprise, something he will find either when he arrives at his destination, or during his trip. It can be something as simple as a note, maybe a gift such as a book or spicy movie you could both watch when he gets back home or you could really spice things up with a piece of your lingerie tucked into his suitcase. I have been known to visit adult stores and purchase things I know will keep his mind ticking over until he returns home! It isn’t easy watching your partner walk out the back door, but it doesn’t have to be heartbreaking. Have fun with it all, plan something sexy, give him something to think about. Spice up your relationship and surprise your partner.
Your partner may be leaving for a while, but why do you have to be the one to stay at home? You may not be able to get time off work but what about taking the weekend to visit friends or relatives? He doesn’t have to be the only one getting out of the house. There has to be someone you would love to catch up with. A good friend you haven’t seen in a while. An aunt, cousin? Pick up the phone and reconnect, if all goes well mention dropping in for a visit. Two nights away for you and the kids could be great, I have done this many times and it can be better than sitting around home.
Long distance relationships are not always fun. But like all relationships you have to work at it. Support and encourage each other. If one person has to keep dealing with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. Talk through any doubts, uncertainty, and fear together. Above all else, prioritise the time you do share. When you do see each other, take as much advantage as possible of your ability to be intimate with each other. You don’t have that privilege during those stretches when you can’t be with each other physically. Keep those feelings of excitement and attraction alive.
Remember to listen to your heart, I know that probably sounds corny but its true. Having a successful, long distance relationship is possible. It’s important that you both understand what is involved and you both need to be committed. Just remember my motto – Everyone enjoys a little magic and adventure….a little romance.
x x x