At the beginning of every relationship, there seems to be nothing you both could not talk about. You would meet up and talk for hours about everything from what interests you both to work and family. Think back to those first dates when you were getting to know someone. You’re asking each other questions, flirting and having fun. It was all so new and exciting. As time rolls by you tend to know everything there is about each other. The level of intensity and level of communication in those earlier days tend to fade over time. It is a natural progression in any relationship, however we tend to allow the lack of conversation to become the normal in our relationships. We don’t tend to say “How are you” or even “I love you” as often as we should.
Sometimes we even reach a point were we have become so frustrated and unhappy we say things to each other we never thought we ever would. We tend to move away from each other in the family home, spending less time doing anything together and planning more time with work colleagues and friends. Ignoring, nitpicking, not talking….its all the ingredients needed for the big D – Divorce. Just because we can get into these ruts, it doesn’t mean we can’t get out of them. There is always a way to get your relationship back on track. It just takes a little patience and commitment from both of you.
Take the time to think about what went wrong. There could be many reasons why you both stop talking to each other. There can be major issues such as was one of you unfaithful? Maybe one of you lost their job? Sometimes the reasons for the lack of communication can be that over the course of the relationship you have become different people. Life experiences shape our opinions and who we are. Learn to open up again, share your thoughts and the details of your lives. Talk about your fears or any concerns you have. Find a new interest you can both participate in, for example have a date night each week where you take turns choosing a movie to see. Join golf together, if you both enjoy astrology pick a night each week to go to a local lookout and spend some time together under the stars.
Make time not just for romance but for some excitement <wink>. Put some of the spark back into your relationship. You want to do things that get your heart racing and turn your palms sweaty. You want to bring back the ‘Oo-la-la’… you know what I mean…Sex! There are a lot more benefits to the old roll and tumble than just setting your sheets on fire 😉 It has been proven that the chemicals released in your body from getting down and dirty with your loved one increase feelings of contentment. The big ‘O’ increases oxytocin and dopamine levels in the brain which serve to help alleviate stress and unhappiness.
When you are in a relationship, all manner of things can get in the way of spontaneity. Working long hours at work, kids can put a big ‘hell-no-its-not-going-to-happen’ on your passions. Theres nothing wrong with setting time to get down to it. Remember when you couldn’t wait to get your hands on each other? You would make a time and place to get your sexy on….remember sharing with room mates! See, having kids really isn’t that much different. If you’re both at home alone, be spontaneous. Get out your old school uniform if you want to spice things up.
Talk to each other, arrange fun date nights and find creative ways to have some fun. The bills will always be there, its all about reconnecting and releasing those passions. Before too long you will both be having fun, enjoying time together and will have a new energy to your relationship.
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