Dating and Confused?

In today’s society where Tinder ‘hook-ups’ are the norm, it is no wonder so many men and women have become so jaded. Most women prepare themselves for the worst, creating enough back-up plans and safety measures that would make the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO) proud. When you take a peek at the latest publications released by the Australian Institute of Criminology you can understand why. As for the guys, in my opinion – most of them seem to be in less of a hurry to enter a serious relationship when compared to their fathers and grandfathers. Life is just too much fun!

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Gone are the days a woman would be happy to date the local car salesman. Unfortunately it is no longer about his looks or gorgeous smile. In 2015 Mr Car Salesman’s average salary couldn’t buy the most average of homes in Sydney or Melbourne. Take into account the latest statistics at the Department of Education and Training that shows the growing number of women attending Universities across Australia (female students in higher education jumped by 33.5 per cent between 2002 and 2012, compared with a 22 per cent rise for males) you can understand why Miss Independent doesn’t want to settle for less. Why spend a lifetime struggling when you can have so much more?

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In many ways, it is no wonder men fear dating. If they push too hard will they come across as aggressive? If they ask to walk her home, will he be seen as a stalker? In today’s economic climate, is their job good enough? The greatest fear men have is rejection. In fact I would go as far as saying men fear rejection more today, than men 20 years ago. Guys really take it to heart and some get rather angry about it…hence the reason why women feel the need to prepare for the worst. According to the world’s largest market research company GlobalWebIndex – the majority of dating app users are men. Why? Because on average – men are much more prone to taking risks, are far more competitive than women and are more than happy to invest very little emotional commitment or time. Most importantly, by using an app, they can avoid the embarrassment of rejection.

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It can be difficult to strike a good balance when dating. For a start, if you want to be taken seriously you will need to rely on more than just a dating app. No matter which way you go about meeting someone, eventually your personality will be revealed. Tinder is after all, only an introduction of sorts. Hiding behind your iPhone won’t work forever. If you are having problems meeting someone you need to take a step back and ask yourself – why are you getting rejected? Are you picking the same people time after time, those that are not looking, not wanting the same things as you do. You can’t force someone to accept you, everyone is looking for something different, something specific, a quality that compliments themselves. That may not be you. Don’t take it personally, better to find out now while everything is still casual and your emotions are not so heavily involved.

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It’s not just a game. Be honest, be upfront and be respectful. Not just to your prospective date, but to yourself. A little effort goes a long way. Are you interested in only ‘hooking up’? Then don’t make others believe that you’re looking for something more, just to land the deal 🙂 Looking for something more tangible and real?… Put yourself out there. It’s not just about hitting on everything you find sexy or attractive, it’s about finding a connection. Love is a big investment, over time you will be revealing everything about yourself. Choose carefully, be wise and enjoy the experience. If it doesn’t work out, move on. Knock backs are not a bad thing in life, it gives you the opportunity to rethink your own expectations, wants and desires. Life is to be lived, and loved…don’t rush the experience…enjoy every single moment.

x x x

  1. It’s funny you mentioned rejection. My ex- wife laughed at me when I told her I liked her …it took awhile before she came around, I got rejected enough that I would keep my distance when I was in school. When I was divorced and single even on line I feared getting rejected .
    Men do fear rejection more than women because we put ourselves our there at the beginning, we either get laughed at or get told we are not good enough. But in time you knew what the expectation was to get with a girl. You had to present yourself in a proper way otherwise she wouldn’t give you the time of day. It is so different now. Women say they want a certain guy then go for the wrong kind of guy and most times they know he is the wrong guy and pass up the one they really should go with…


    • I am sorry you got laughed at, that’s cruel. You should be glad u never ended up with someone who made you feel like that. Her loss 🙂 when I was in my early 20’s it was normal for a guy to ask you out for drinks, coffee etc these days guys are very apprehensive. It’s sad that so many men have lost their confidence. But as you have pointed out, some women are to blame for some men loosing their cool. Mixed signals and playing games is a bad habit with many women these days. Dating can be a mine field.

      Liked by 1 person

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