Ever had one of those days when you felt really busy, but didn’t really do a lot? I feel tired, like I could go back to bed and its only 5.30pm. Damn what a day….but hang on. The beds made and the floors have been cleaned but the pile of washing hasn’t been touched and there are dirty dishes all over the kitchen. All my new book marks I needed to post are still sitting on my desk and I still haven’t ordered any new business cards. The list of things to do is still on my monitor and…..yep, none of it has been done. What have I done all day?
Ok, I slept in….while drinking my coffee midmorning I became side tracked reading news websites…..there went an hour. I decided to spray Exit Mould in my shower and had to wait 20 minutes for it to do its thing. Mould destroyed I took my time shaving north, east, south and west 😉 Had another coffee and hello, it was lunch time. After a quick snack, my phone rang. A friend wanted to meet up for coffee…and there was my problem – goodbye time! Oh, it was great catching up….but 2 hours…..no clean bras but had enough coffee to jump start an elephant!
We didn’t even talk about that much, no…I remember now….I didn’t get to talk that much. But I did play the role of a supportive friend very well – until she mentioned the F word……Facebook! Oh, I know I use Facebook, for personal and business, but anything more than 10, 20 minutes tops and I start to nod off. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy reading and finding out what friends and family are doing, but I really don’t need to read about everyone’s inner thoughts. You dream about being a Star Fish?? WT??!! ok…good for you…but honestly….I don’t need to know that 🙂
So today with Ms Career-Gal, I listened and nodded and did what friends do. I was a shoulder, a sound board…someone to hand tissues, order more coffee and advise that the world really is wonderful. That was until she mentioned updating her Facebook relationship status! 3, 4 dates at the most and your now officially in a relationship?!? Really??!!?? Ok…. I think I should clarify a few things….Ms Career-Gal changes relationships as often as most of us change our underwear. Oh I understand she wants to concentrate on her career, and if that makes her happy, and if that is what she wants then I am happy for her. But what she says and what she does are two different things. She wants a career and doesn’t have the time for a guy, but a few dates in and its getting serious.
Ms Career-Gal was talking about how great Mr High-Achiever is, how cute he is and how wonderful he kisses. But when I asked her about why she felt the need to change her Facebook status, she said she wanted everyone to know how happy she is. Am I happy for her. She is smiling, content and all is good in her world. But really, why advertise it? I understand her need to share her good news and her happiness but when is the right time to announce such things?
So I let her vent. I gave her all the time she needed to get it all out in the open….and after a few hours, when my legs became jittery and my heart rate was tapping double time I decided it was time to intervene. It wasn’t like an intervention, all her friends didn’t jump out from behind fountains and throw holy water over her, it was a gentle awakening. After how many coffees, I may have felt like Speedy Gonzales on the inside, but on the outside I portrayed the peacefulness of a saint. Well I tried to 🙂
When giving advice it is important not to tell someone what they should or should not be doing. Social boundaries and etiquette is something we all learn, in our own time. Some people don’t understand that posting everything about their lives can be unhealthy, and can do more harm than good. Long before Social Networking sites like Facebook were around, there was a certain mystique about dating. If you wanted to know how someone felt, you asked them. These days, for many couples, it is not uncommon to find out a little bit more than you were ready for. Your date is in a relationship…ok,…with who???!!!
With sites like Facebook, as soon as you change your Relationship Status, it is literally front-page news. It can be a shock for someone who isn’t on the “same page” as you are. A better choice is to give your friendship more time to evolve. If everything seems to be working out after a month or so, ask your partner how they would define your relationship. He might enjoy having a little fun, but settling down and setting boundaries of any kind i.e exclusivity – might cause him to bolt. If you are both already Facebook friends, consider making it a mutual decision about when to take that step of changing your Relationship Status. You don’t want to shock the poor guy, or girl….and you don’t want to jump to conclusions.
Take your time, its not a race. Enjoy getting to know each other. Be honest and no stalking his or her friends online 🙂 Also, try to keep your enthusiasm in check. Create some mystery and remember to enjoy each moment. It’s all about the magic and the adventure…..about the romance, and if it feels right, its about falling in love…with the right person.
x x x