Funky Breath

Would you kiss someone who has bad breath? If you were enjoying an intimate moment and your partner moved in close with a white pasty tongue and a funky mouth that could peel the paint from walls, could you pucker up? Could you slide your tongue in or would you have to retreat to a safe breathable distance. Would you come right out with it and tell them there breath is toxic or would you be tactful and discreet and try to drop a polite hint? AAghhh personally I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t kiss someone who is triggering my gag reflex. I put funky breath in the same category as nose pickers and crutch scratchers. Actually now that I think about it, its much worse.  When it comes to putting yourself in the hygiene firing line, unless your partner eats his findings, nose pickers and crutch scratchers are not as awful as bad breath.

Bad breath is a terrible odour and no matter how much we may try to convince ourselves that it really isn’t that bad, the truth of the matter is – it is! When we smell something awful, our body has a physical reaction. Its almost involuntary, we shiver, gag or move away from the offending smell. When your getting up close and personal with your partner, the last thing you want to do is move away to cleaner air space.

When I spoke to my friends about it, they all were quite adamant that bad breath is a dating deal breaker. This is more so if you have detected bad breath on more than one occasion. As one of my closest friends said “If he has a funky mouth, what else does he not care about?” Hmmm

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If you know someone with bad breath and you have been trying to think of some clever hints, you could always offer the person a piece of gum or a mint – place a piece in your mouth then politely offer one. If they decline your offer simply mention how great the flavour is and recommend they try it. Alternatively you could place the gum or mint in their hand while enthusiastically yet firmly telling them how great the new flavour is. Immediately continue with the conversation you both took part in before your intervention.

You could also offer a glass of water. One known cause for bad breath is a dry/dehydrated mouth, by offering a refreshing glass of cold water you would be assisting them in more ways than one. In fact if this is the case, offering something sugaring can often make the matter worse. If you don’t have a water bottle, tell your companion that you are thirsty and to come with you while you get a cold drink. That way they will more than likely get a drink swell. If they don’t, offer to buy it for them.

What are some clues that you may have bad breath? If your getting intimate with your loved one and your partner suddenly pulls away before you get a chance to “latch on” 😉 then there may be a bit of a problem. If every time you try to come in to swap some saliva and your partner offers you a mint, then you definitely have an issue. Another less subtle way to tell if you have bad breath is if your friends, family or your co-workers move away from you when ever you speak. Some may even cover their noses or turn there faces.

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There are many causes for bad breath and its a much more common condition than we would think. Bad breath is a condition called Halitosis and is caused by a sulphur producing bacteria that normally lives on the surface of the tongue and throat. Sometimes the bacteria starts to break down proteins at a high rate which releases smelly sulphur compounds. Apart from the sulphur producing bacteria that migrate on the back of your tongue, there are also other significant causes such as smoking, dry mouth, dental infections, bad oral hygiene and nasal/sinus infections can all cause bad breath. Foods such as onions, garlic and cauliflower can induce certain odours however these are only short term.

There is no specific treatment for Halitosis although by avoiding dehydration and engaging in healthy oral hygiene habits the condition can be significantly reduced. If you wake up in the morning and have a tongue that looks like it needs to be sent to a biochemical lab, chances are you have a problem. You may need to rethink the alcohol you consume 🙂 or place a glass of water beside your bed. If you have a cold or a sinus infection, burning tongue, thick saliva or a constant bitter metallic taste in your mouth then its time to take action. Purchase a new toothbrush, dental floss and a mouth wash. Clean your teeth and tongue 3 times a day and rinse your mouth with a good mouth wash. Watch what you eat and drink plenty of water. If you have an ongoing sinus infection speak to your doctor, a course of antibiotics may help.

No-one wants to have fun with a funky mouth, whether its a simple conversation or some tongue action you don’t want to have an intimate time ruined by bad hygiene manners. Armed with some good helpful knowledge, tackling bad breath should become a thing of the past.

x x x

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