Romance isn’t quite the dirty word some people fear it is. Saying the word out loud won’t bring about the Bubonic Plague, nor will it cause massive earthquakes to shake across the worlds largest continents. However, telling your loved one that you care and showing some affection may cause a few flutters of the heart… and there’s nothing wrong with that.
For thousands of years, both men and women have been playing the courting game. Most men may have evolved and no longer feel the need to knock a woman over the head to get her into his cave, but the game of seduction and enticement still exists today. We have all been there….when we notice someone across the room and your belly starts to do a little dance. When that person walks over and starts to make conversation with you. You get nervous and your hands get a little clammy. You don’t want to say something silly, yet you don’t want to come across like an uneducated fool.
Whether it’s a corny pick-up line, natural wit or the use of some bizarre yet natural talent, the art of dating is something that cannot be avoided. Unless you want to follow in the footsteps of Mother Theresa and join a convent. Without dating and getting to know that one special person that makes your tummy go all jittery, you would never be able to find out whether or not he or she is the one. That special person you could see yourself spending the rest of you life with.
Over time we move past those first dating hurdles such as whether he gets along with your family, likes your friends or has any dead bodies in the basement. And just when you think the coast is clear, you discover you have something else to worry about. What happens when the honeymoon stage of the relationship is over? When your partner feels comfortable to fart and pick his nose in bed? When you discover your man likes to cut his toe nails on the new expensive couch because he doesn’t want to miss the big game on tv?!? Let me tell you this, no matter how long you are together, you are always learning something new about each other. The information may not be a steady flow, like when you both first started getting to know each other. But even after many years there will still be a story that you never heard, a bad habit they have picked up or something else that will drive you up the wall with frustration.
The key to make your relationship work is nothing more than putting in the effort and being romantic… sound silly??!!?? Take a walk down memory lane, think of when you first started dating your partner. You thought about him or her a lot didn’t you?!! You would spend time thinking about where to go out for dinner, what to do on the weekend and doing something special that would win him or her over. You spent time putting in the effort. You also wanted to look good. You wanted your partner to look at you and think “What a catch”…..”This guy is hot!”, or “Damn, she looks fine!”. You didn’t take your lover for dinner to your local Macca’s drive through…..you went somewhere special. Bought flowers, took him or her to the movies followed by a short walk to a secluded intimate bar. Purchased sexy lingerie, planned intimate trips away and had fun getting to know each other. You put in the effort 🙂
The mistake people make is that they believe once you “put a ring on it” you no longer have to work so hard. You have him…or her, you no longer have to prove yourself. Well, hate to break it to you but that is one of the reasons why divorce lawyers are making so much money these days! According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average marriage in Australia only lasts 12 years! 12 years….long enough to have kids, work your ass off to put a deposit on a decent home and for your wife or husband to say they are no longer happy. Long enough for you to look back and wonder what went wrong, and long enough for you to see when the cracks began to form.
No one gets unhappy overnight. There are always warning sings…”You don’t look at me the way you used to”, “We used to go out for dinner, now we don’t do anything”…..or “Your more interested in making time for your mates than me”. I bet your mates never heard from you when you first started dating. You where more interested in your new relationship. It’s the loss of those intimate gestures that start the ball rolling. And like any avalanche, once its starts it can be difficult to stop. But, I will tell you from experience, it isn’t impossible to fix. You simply have to want to. If you dont, then you need to sit down and have a very important conversation with your partner. If you want to fight for what you once had, then get off your ass and put the big R back into your relationship.
Romance, not so silly now is it?!!! Re-introduce some of that magic and excitement you once enjoyed back into your lives. Don’t make it all one sided, take each others feelings and desires into consideration. He likes sports? Make plans and surprise him with tickets to a game. Don’t think up excuses – oh the kids, work…blah, blah. We are all in the same boat. Its a little bit of your time, a few hours….enjoy it. Purchase some lingerie for her, surprise her with reservations to an intimate restaurant. Purchase a bottle of wine, ask friends to look after the kids and go to the beach, or drive to a hillside spread out a blanket and watch the sunset. Put your hand down his pants and really give him a surprise 😉 Its about smiling, laughing and enjoying the good times. Life gets hectic, but your partner is supposed to be by your side. Work at it, put in the effort and you will be on the right track to putting plenty more smiles on each others faces.
x x x