Watching my daughter return to school today was a little difficult. It wasn’t her first day of primary school, it wasn’t even her first day of high school. It was her first day of year 12, her final year of school. I watched her walk across the school crossing with her over stuffed backpack on and felt this over whelming sense of loss. She is 17, how did that happen so quickly? It feels like only a day or two ago that I brought her home from the hospital. In what feels like a blink of an eye, she has grown from a chubby newborn to a strong independent young woman. I couldn’t help but feel really sad.
As I drove off down the street, I was so busy trying to catch a few more glimpses of her crossing the school yard that I came close to driving up the backside of another driver. I was being silly… it was her first day of year 12, not like she is moving out or getting married. I kept telling myself – it’s just school, but I couldn’t shake the sadness. After I got home I made a cup of coffee and decided to sit on the couch for 5 minutes and relax.
I made the mistake of looking up. Beside the television in a yellow framed photo is a picture of both my girls. The photo was taken around christmas time when my eldest Caitlin was around 6 & 1/2 years old, and my youngest Rachael 1 & 1/2 years old. And then it happened! Damn stupid tears!! For goodness sake – this was getting ridiculous! I got up and went over to the picture, and once again the thought was there – where have the years gone?
I spent the rest of the day running around like a mad hatter! Dropped off the dry cleaning, did some shopping at the local supermarket, picked up Rachael from school. Washing, cleaning….the never ending list of things that need to be done around the house. After dinner, Mitch was still at work, Rachael was doing homework so I decided watch a movie. First movie that popped up on Bigpond Movies – Three Men and A Baby! For crying out loud!!! Where is that damn box of tissues!!!
I should have taken a photo of Mitch’s face when he got home. He looked at me like a had grown another head! We went into the bedroom and I told him what was wrong. There are times when Mitch opens his mouth and the most sweetest words poor out. It doesn’t happen very often 🙂 but occasionally he gets it just right. I needed someone to help me put everything into perspective, and he did just that. The past couple of years have been difficult. First Caitlin moved out of home to attend University. Both Mitch’s father and step father passed away with cancer. It took what felt like forever to sell our home in the country, and we got played! We moved to Melbourne and it has been a big adjustment for me. Traffic lights – Aagghhh!!! Looking for work, Mitch getting a promotion, a few other bumps along the road and now Rachael starting her final year of high school. It has been a tad hectic.
But as Mitch said, life is not meant to be easy. How boring would it be if everything was smooth sailing all the time? I actually had a smart-ass comment for that one!! 🙂 Caitlin only lives 20 minutes away, it’s not like she moved to Mars. The universities Rachael plans to attend are close by, it’s not so bad. Then he came up with the gold – “When was the last time we got to have sex on the washing machine” Oh great Mitch, not what I had in mind 🙂 But he made me laugh and that was what counts. No matter what, life moves on…we just have to remember to talk about what ever is bothering us. Look at the positive aspects, Rachael may be growing more independent but that just means we will have more time for ourselves. Even if that involves seeing more of Mitch and his hairy bare butt 😉
x x x