Over the years I have heard every pickup line imaginable. Some of them entertaining, most of them not! Pickup lines have been used since before I was born, in the hopes of engaging someone unfamiliar in an intimate conversation. Both men and women have been guilty of using these short phrases, which are meant to inspire a quick rapport and easy conversation with the intended target. Sometimes they work, most of the time the person looks silly and the person they wanted to impress has no other choice but to refuse his or her advances and walk away.
Most of the time, pickup lines are used in bars and nightclubs. The guy or girl will wait until they have had a few ‘leaded’ drinks before approaching someone they find attractive, or “easy”. Ever heard the term “beer goggles”? That’s were the term came from. The person sitting back trying to think of something witty will wait until their liquid courage has taken effect. In the meantime their eyes sight has hit an all time low and the person they think is smiling at them from the end of the bar is in fact suffering from bowel cramps and needs to visit a bathroom stat! Over the years I have heard some of the most alarming pick up lines ever! Maybe you might have heard of one of them?….
“If you were a Transformer, you would be a hot-obot called Optimus-Fine!”…no? maybe one of these – “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9, and I’m the 1 you need!”, “Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine?” or my fav (not!!)…. “Let’s play Titanic, you can be the ocean and I’ll go down on you!”. I have often thought that some guys just want to be slapped, because that’s what happens when they come out with something that is crude, vulgar and downright stupid! Cheesy pick up lines won’t capture the attention of someone who is confident, has good self-esteem or looking for someone who has those same qualities. So if you are someone who thinks silly lines like that will help, then my advice would be to rub some vaseline on your cheeks. That way the slap coming your way might not hurt so much!
So what is the best pickup line? How do you approach someone who your interested in? From my experience and from talking to everyone I know, the best way to approach someone is to not use one at all! Yes, that’s right. My advice to you is simply this – be yourself! One of the biggest traps is wasting all your time and effort trying to figure out the perfect thing to say. Oh you can sit in front of your smart phone or pc all day looking up the most recommended phrases to use, but I’m telling you, your level of success wont be very high. Quite the opposite. What you need to learn is genuine confidence, how to be charming and how to hold a real conversation.
Confidence is not something we are born with, it is a trait that comes as a result of the lives we lead. Well, that’s the way I think of it 🙂 When our character or sense of self is threatened in any way (told off by the boss, etc) we lose some of our confidence. The more crap we have to deal with, the lower our confidence becomes. When things are going well in our lives we feel better about ourselves – right? When we feel confident, we show everyone around us that we have faith in our talents and abilities. But that doesn’t make us super heroes, we only need one crappy moment to make us feel unsure again. We all experience the same thing, so think twice before you assume you’re the only one who feels that way.
It’s easy to fake confidence, strut around with an attitude and try to convince yourself that the world and everyone in it owes you a favour. But it’s not true – that’s not how the world works, I know it, you know it, so why behave that way? You don’t need alcohol to boost your self-esteem, you will only feel foolish, and you really don’t want to walk around with vaseline on your face now do you? 🙂 You don’t feel that attractive, everyone has something they don’t like about themselves – to think the “pretty” people don’t have problems or self-esteem issues is silly.
By being a genuine person from the start, he or she can get to know the real you. Having a crappy day at work, admit to it. Introduce yourself and be honest “I noticed you across the room and I really wanted to say hello. My name is ###.” Don’t offer to buy a drink – you will only be cornering the person. Don’t get in all close, give some room, be friendly. Don’t ask for a phone number, you don’t even know their last name. Just talk about why you’re there. Don’t be rude, just be kind, laugh at what you find funny and relax. If you are nervous, tell the person. “I don’t want to come across creepy, I’m a tad nervous, you’re an attractive person.” that’s better than “You’re hot, we could make good-looking babies!”.
Ask everyday questions, do they go to the footy? Their job, don’t delve into each topic too much like you’re trying to find out their work address or something. That can be creepy. When you start to feel comfortable and the other person is giving you all their attention then say something like: “I have really enjoyed meeting you, you have the best sense of humour,” or “I would really like to catch up again, here’s my phone number”. That way you don’t have to go through the feeling of being knocked back, you are not putting too much pressure on the person and you come across as fun, outgoing, and simply a nice guy or girl.
From all my experiences, and those of everyone I know – the most memorable advances were from men and women who didn’t try so hard. When it comes to real attraction the more authentic you are, the better chance you have of meeting someone who will feel comfortable and enjoy your company. If you pursue immature tactics the best you will end with is an immature person. Pick up lines and trash talk may fool some people, but the one person you want to keep one by your side for the long haul is the one who sees the real you, and who will love everything about you.
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