I was glad Australia was caught up in the Trump v’s Clinton election, because I was sick and tired of listening to the news and hearing Gable Tostee’s name. We all know he has been found not guilty of killing Tinder date Warriena Wright, but that doesn’t mean we can forget what happened. A young woman fell to her death, a woman who will never walk down the aisle, will never hold a newborn baby in her arms and will never get to grow old with the man of her dreams. No, that all went up in a puff of smoke the moment she swiped left on her Tinder App.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there is anything “wrong” with Tinder. Tinder didn’t force her to meet up with Gable, Tinder didn’t tell her to do anything silly, no those choices were something Warriena made. But what does frustrate me is the lack of thought or common sense that goes into using these Apps. There is no Working With Children clause, Police Checks or Criminal Files anyone can access. Using dating Apps or match making websites comes down to whats between your ears – your brain!
I remember watching an episode of Oprah years ago, the show was all about listening to your intuition. How many times has someone gone and done something, against their better judgement? When you get that creepy feeling or feel uncomfortable yet you still think walk down that alley… nothing’s going to happen to you – right?!! Yet every year men and women become another statistic – abuse, rape… murder. Not all of these statistics are made up of bad choices, some are nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But some of these crimes are as a result of bad choices, and some of these crimes are committed by someone you know… or just met.
Whatever happened to meeting someone and getting to know them? Not just for an hour or two before you go home with them, but taking some time to really get to know someone? It’s like people are too scared to face each other and have a conversation. “What if he tells me he isn’t interested?” or “That he is only interested in sex?” or maybe – “That he likes my friend and not me?” Before websites and Apps were the norm, people had conversations. They approached each other and spoke words to each other, kind words, words that when formed together in the form of a question enabled you to gain a response and learn something. It was miraculous really. That you could see someone at the supermarket, the mall, school or the park and when you smiled, held out your hand and put together a short phrase you could gain the attention of someone.
Communication is becoming a lost skill. Oh people know how to communicate via text, emojis and hitting the send button, but verbal communication – the ability to hold a conversation, that’s becoming a thing of the past. Email, voice recorder, we don’t need to face each other anymore. And dating websites and hookup Apps are not helping. Flick through some mystery faces, see whatever grabs your attention and swipe left or right. Arrange a place to meet, buy some condoms and drinks and off you go. Conversations… eventually… “You want a drink now, or after?!” Hooking up using websites and Apps is not just used by single men and women who don’t want to waste time having a conversation. It has become the norm, the way that everyone is meeting people. The quest to find love has become nothing more than an insignificant flick of the wrist.
Dating sites and Apps are not necessarily good for your health, nor are they good for that matter under your skull. Confidence, self-esteem, bravery… no one is born with it. It’s a trait we all learn. If you feel lacking or unsure figure it out. Read books, watch YouTube, ask your friends or family… seek help and advice. If you want a job or the career of your dreams you need to learn the skills and educate yourself. You gain the knowledge and the same theory can be applied to dating. If you don’t feel good enough, if you feel unsure… don’t hide behind your smart phone looking at strange faces. Arm yourself with some know how, you will feel better about yourself in the long run. Learn now how to talk to the opposite sex before you end up bitter and angry and wishing you knew back then what you do now.
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