How can three simple words – I Love You – scare the wits out of even the most confident of people? It sounds silly doesn’t it?! …but even I have had difficulty saying those three simple words. It shouldn’t be so damn hard, yet at times I have felt nervous saying them out loud. I have actually experienced anxiety attacks just thinking about it. My tummy was doing backflips, I broke out in a sweat and my heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to leap from my chest. And that was from just thinking the words! Saying them out loud …at times I have felt like I was handing over my last breath.
Did you know there is actually a phobia, not for saying the words, but a genuine fear of love itself? True, I was quite surprised when I found out. It’s called Philophobia. Apparently people who suffer from this phobia fear romantic love or forming any emotional attachments of any sort. The word originates from the Greek word “filos” which means ‘loving or beloved’. It’s rather sad, but I can quiet honestly say it is not something I suffer from. The anxiety I have sometimes felt was brought on for other reasons.
Never in the history of the English language has such a short phrase held so much power. The power to lift you to great heights, like you are flying above the clouds…and the power to tear you apart. To leave you feeling raw, unable to think properly as if your soul was being torn away. I actually heard someone recently say the following phrase – “Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting that they won’t.” I had to think about it. In the past I have been with people, or known people, who have made fun or belittled any admissions of love or affection I felt at the time. Those experiences left a lasting impression on me. Now that I am older and wiser, I can look back and see that I dated some of the biggest idiots to walk the earth 😦 But as I have grown older, I have learned that not all men are the same. But that hasn’t stopped some of those old fears from making an appearance every now and then.
I have had to remind myself on more than one occasion that just because Mitchell and I go through the occasional “rough patch” in our relationship, it doesn’t mean he is about to walk out the door. Just because he is upset about something I had said or done doesn’t mean he is looking for an apartment. Building walls and holding myself back will only make matters worse. In fact it is when things are not well between us that we need to hear the words “I love you” the most. What happened in the past is in the past, the reason I fell in love with Mitchell is because he was different. He is kind, patient …and oh so loveable!
One of the most basic psychological needs, is the need to give love, and to feel love in return. In fact I would say that it is one of Mother Nature’s most powerful forces. It drives us to do some of the most craziest of things, all in the process of finding someone special and creating that deep connection. Yes, we have moments of doubt, and in those moments we should be talking to our loved ones and putting our minds at ease because in the end, it is important for our partners to hear the words. Saying “I love you” isn’t stupid – I love you – is simply that, an expression of our inner feelings, our emotions and our desires. Three simple words we should tell our loved one every single day.
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